Amnesia

I can barely remember the words we said,
Exactly what date we met,
The jokes we laughed at,
The way it was to be free but still intrigued,
The discussions we had in bed till 4am,
The mundane lives we led.

But I can clearly recall the way it all felt,
The warmth of your hugs,
The pulse of happiness that throbbed through my veins when I caught sight of you,
The butterflies exploding in my stomach that restricted my breathing,
When I heard your voice change when you were smiling especially knowing that I was the cause of it,
In my mind I can trace the pulled corners of your mouth when you grinned that boyish smirk,
The way my face hurt every single day from smiling and laughing too much,
The singing, so much singing,
I remember being painfully exhausted but still finding energy from the adrenaline that speaking to you provided.

I recall the way my heart clenched when I heard you speak about her,
The sick feeling when I realized that we were worlds apart,
The threads unravelling all at once from a finely tailored future,
The exhaustion that never seems to recede.

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