20’s vs Sanity

Trying to remain true to yourself is ridiculously hard in a world that is always clawing at you.. Ripping away shreds of you.
Innocence is gone, patience is gone, trying to be pure is like fighting a tidal wave that threatens to drown you.
Keeping a smile up is only as long as people’s eyes are trained on you.
Anger and rage are too familiar an emotion with the slightest thing being a trigger.
Bullies aren’t just a phase, they just wear an older face now.
Everyone’s number one priority is themselves regardless of if it impacts another person negatively.

No one prepared me for this life. No one said that I would feel purposeless 50% of the time.
40% of the time I feel nothing. Empty,hollow, numb.
It’s like wanting to cry out and scream but it remains lodged inside with no release.

They said do the right thing, go to school, behave, good things will come. I gave up having a real life for the idea of this perfect life that they said would come.

It is as though my lenses were fogged and when I wiped them clean I became too logical. Too much of an old soul in this young body. Too questioning of the tape that holds the tapestry up.

Why am I here?
Who am I supposed to end up with? Do I really need someone to make me happy?
What is this magical job that will make me feel fulfilled?
Where is the promised freedom? Because I’ve never felt more trapt than right now.

Grateful and Guilty Pleasure ! – Kardashians Edition

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Grateful and Guilty.”
Grateful and Guilty

I consider myself a person with intellectual taste in movies and televisions shows however, one show I absolutely do not feel turned off by is Keeping Up With The Kardashians! Definitely a guilty pleasure ! I have possibly seen all the episodes twice since E! does their marathons.

The show is about a family that rose to fame from a sex scandal and they were able to build an empire as a result. Although they are beyond ridiculous and over dramatic, one has to respect the work that went into riding the media into fame as well as sustaining it for so long and still keeping viewers hooked after so many seasons,

Personally I feel as though I have evolved on their journey along with them and I can pretend I am part of their too large family which is great for me since I am an only child. It always has me in stitches laughing. Usually a show like this with no real plot or substance would disinterest me immediately but I am hooked!

Soundtrack of my Life

<a href=”http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/cue-the-violins/”>Cue the Violins</a>

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cue the Violins.”

I love listening to music that make you feel something. I love listening to a song and letting the lyrics sting my heart so much so that I have to change it. I am a very mellow person and sometimes I feel as though my heart is ten paces behind the average persons’ so that should give you some insight as to how calm I am majority of the time. It is no surprise then that majority of the songs on the the official soundtrack album of my life will be hippie/indie/haunting. Each of the songs I relate to and I experience overwhelming emotion over.

1) The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony

2) Coldplay – Clocks

3) Yuna – Lullabies (Adventure Club Remix)

4) Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know

5) M83 – Midnight City

6) KONGOS – Come With Me Now

7) Peking Duk ft. Nicole Millar – High

8) Phantogram – Black Out Days

9) Phantogram – Fall in Love

10) Snow Patrol – Run

11) Disclosure – You & Me (Flume Remix)

12) Anything and everything from Lana Del Rey – Paradise

Paper Doll

I see you for what you are paper doll,

Your doll house is perfection.

Never a stain or a mess to be seen,

Biggest size TV, shiniest appliances,

I feel as though I am in a Museum.

Mom is not who she seems paper doll,

She takes that which she cannot make for herself.

Hair always did, always in a trendy ensemble,

Miss congeniality they say, always with a story,

The boisterous loud laughter quiets the troubled soul within.

Don’t be too hard on mom, paper doll.

Dad isn’t the saint he seems.

I’ve seen him around town,

Two shadows behind a curtain,

Sultry voices and girlish giggles.

All eyes turn to you paper doll,

They all bet on you,

How far does the apple fall from the tree?

I see you paper doll,

Struggling to break free.

You give them something new to talk about in academia,

But you are shallow and cold within.

When all is said and done,

I hope that love of designers,

Doesn’t leave you with the wrong brand.