20’s vs Sanity

Trying to remain true to yourself is ridiculously hard in a world that is always clawing at you.. Ripping away shreds of you.
Innocence is gone, patience is gone, trying to be pure is like fighting a tidal wave that threatens to drown you.
Keeping a smile up is only as long as people’s eyes are trained on you.
Anger and rage are too familiar an emotion with the slightest thing being a trigger.
Bullies aren’t just a phase, they just wear an older face now.
Everyone’s number one priority is themselves regardless of if it impacts another person negatively.

No one prepared me for this life. No one said that I would feel purposeless 50% of the time.
40% of the time I feel nothing. Empty,hollow, numb.
It’s like wanting to cry out and scream but it remains lodged inside with no release.

They said do the right thing, go to school, behave, good things will come. I gave up having a real life for the idea of this perfect life that they said would come.

It is as though my lenses were fogged and when I wiped them clean I became too logical. Too much of an old soul in this young body. Too questioning of the tape that holds the tapestry up.

Why am I here?
Who am I supposed to end up with? Do I really need someone to make me happy?
What is this magical job that will make me feel fulfilled?
Where is the promised freedom? Because I’ve never felt more trapt than right now.


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