I’d gotten used to dark rooms

My inner voice rattling in the silence of my mind

My heart feeding me enough blood with its monotonous rhythm to keep me alive

I knew it from the start but I underestimated you

The plan was to keep you at arms length

Feeding you enough to keep it alive

Dimming the fire when it burnt too bright

I can’t remember when I stopped being in control

But I remember the anticipation replacing dread

I remember searching your face for smiles

Allowing you visitation rights in my thoughts

You never overstayed your welcome

You never overstepped the boundaries

Part of me was dying from the anticipation

But most of me was thankful for the sense in all the white noise

I guess it happened in all those moments when I felt no pressure

I was unapologetically myself

And you became my safe space

All it took was being out of my comfort zone

To see you being magnificent in yours

I felt my heartbeat restart its loud wet thumping

Beating in time with the rhythm of your propulsion

It accelerated every time I saw you leave

And it deafened my inner  voice when you returned to me

Concern in your eyes and comfort in your touch

I haven’t desired someone the way I did you,  in that moment for a very long time

After you are blinded by the beauty in the brilliance of the sunlight

How can you appreciate the silence that night brings?

Anticipation is the next chapter in our story

The foundation of my existence for the past year is shifting by the magnitude of your presence

Who will  reveal their cards first?